CK + S6, Gendron + Golden Age of Hollywood

07.04.2020

And the strong confident gold clad king watches her ride away from the castle.
Or is it the fortress?
She looks (like she's got it all) covered, relaxed and calm, not looking back but peacefully forward, but her horse (instinct) maybe innocently (white) throws a glance towards the comfortable stable left behind?

***

From the Introduction in the Gendron Tarot Book:

"The creation of The Gendron Tarot was a spiritually expansive commission with hours of research, meditation, prayer, and ritual revealing meaning and images. It evolved intuitively through immersion in metaphysical practice and study."
"The path to enlightenment is intensely personal with universal signposts along the way. Each of the seventy-eight cards in a traditional tarot deck carries wisdom through use of symbolic imagery. Contemplating the meaning held within a card and how it applies to one's life increases knowledge that encourages the transformation of ego-oriented self to universal True self."

From the Golden Age of Hollywood site:

"The Golden Age of Hollywood Tarot Deck tells the tarot story through the medium of movies. Images from Hollywood's golden age (1920's to 1960's) transcend the time and represent powerful archetypes gifted from the twentieth century to the twenty-first.
"The deck includes four additional Veto cards which can help to identify "no go" areas in your readings."

So, together they breathe something like "walking your personal path involves research (awareness), meditation, intuition, watching for signs and symbols - and a knowing when to throw in a Veto, and which doors that are closed or should be closed".

CARDS
Gendron: King of Cups
"Suits of Cups: desire"
King "desire: Maintain integrity in all doings" (which certainly involves knowing/feeling when there's a personal 'no go' - no matter how much 'do go' it is for others!)
Golden Age of Hollywood: Six of Swords - Leaving Failure (the card of moving on, especially in terms of thoughts)
"A sad journey. Quiet passage. Resignation. Self-doubt. Shame and defeat. Sorrow. Anxiety. Licking one's wounds. Movie inspiration - Deborah Kerr in Black Narcissus (1947)

***

"When you are moving away into an unknown place and feel lonely, detached from all that you know and love, the Six of Swords will be revealed as the cards are dealt in your Tarot reading. This card confirms that you are in a somber state, but it is a card that signals the bottom has been reached and that the slow process of healing has begun." (keen)
(leaving the 'somber' feeling depicted yesterday, through the Ceccoli Tarot)

"The Six of Swords is symbolic of a journey or escape into mental clarity. It suggests a better, positive future or possibly a period of calm straight ahead of you. Moving forward could require you to use your logic or natural intellect, but the end result is of a positive nature." (trustedtarot)

***

So, it maybe hints to that it's not so much about "feeling and being the sadness", but that it's more of a 'Upper-Limit-Problem'. A self-imposed limit on "how much happiness I can allow myself". Self-sabotaging, so that the Ego can step in and say, "I knew it wouldn't work, you Fool!" It's like the Ego is trying to convince me that the 'bad' feelings mean that I'm 'going in the wrong direction'. It plays on my innate self-doubt that tricky bastard!!

I'm also still have a part of me that's terrified of feeling happiness - in fear of that it will be 'taken away' and of course that old "I'm not worth it' because I'm not 'following the 'rules'". I thought I had overcome most of that, but surprise - I hadn't!

Instead of enjoying my own, somewhat unusual, path (that I have to walk to regain/maintain integrity) the Ego switches on that inner outdated tape-recorder, which immediately starts playing old tapes like "what the hell are you doing, and WHY?!", knowing that 'I' cannot answer it - as I sit where I sit now because of following intuitive faith and a feeling, and have thrown in some 'Veto:s' here and there in response to "conventional/practical" choices and others' "well meaning" advice. But the insecure part of the Ego (a Frightened Part of my Personality) doesn't want to here about Veto:s - it wants to fit in!!! It wants to be accepted - no matter what! It certainly doesn't want to walk a path alone.

"Keep on walkin', and switch on that intuitive logic will ya!"

Leave those limiting castle walls, and the emotionally unstable gold clad superficial Ego (reversed King of Cups) behind. Ride on, deeper into the unknown! 
There's no need looking back and second guess your choice!