CQ + Empress, Mary-El + Urban

05.01.2020

Theme(s): in the abyss + coping with society

How to be "The Queen of your Deepest (abyss) Emotions (cups)" (Emotional Awareness) and coping with patterns in the everyday society in a motherly, mature, loving and nurturing way?
How to stay in Integrity without being too sensitive or insensitive?

Do not ask me - yet!!
I (sort of) know it in theory, but not in practice. 
Talking the talk, not yet walking the walk.

I'm very much emerged in elaborations and studies in the first part of it - Emotional Awareness - as that is a prerequisite for the second - and I have not reached far enough in those studies to present a stable result in the second part! On distance (digitally), and in comfortable situations - yes - otherwise - not so much (I still have rather high demands on myself in this regard, too).
But I'm practising, and growing. Falling down, getting up. Feeling hurt - accepting the pain, seeing the underlying internal fear, embracing it, and thanking the Universe for yet another opportunity to get to know myself a little bit better.
One step back, two steps forward.

______

No wonder the first card today fell upright, and the second reversed. At the present moment I'm accepting my emotions better than I cope with society - and the ones living in it!

CARDS
Mary-el Tarot: Queen of Cups
"Value emotions they are never without reason or source"
Urban Tarot: The Empress
"loving, merciful, nurturing. She accepts without judgement" Oh, how I long for the day when I can muster the strength, integrity and stability to be like this in all situations! <3
"She is the symbol of the softer side of authority, a parental figure who guides and shapes with care. She teaches us compassion and trust with a gentle hand."

______

I have a long way to go! And still I choose the road of fear (anger/dispute/compromise/frustration/etc - instead of love) too often - even though I now know it makes the walk longer and more uncomfortable...! Oh, how strong the claws of habits (addictions to fear) are.

"successful people are the ones who don't do different things but do things differently and take risks in their life."
(radhikagoyal)

"Back on the horse again".

(Symbolically suiting the tent to my car flipped over yesterday evening - a quite "dramatic" event, but causing no damage, and the car was "coincidentally" placed safely outside. 

I still so easily get caught up in, and sucked into, "dramas" and "earthly debates" - which "flips me totally upside down", into old destructive habits. I still don't now how to stay in integrity and be open and loving at the same time, when faced with great challenges and lured by old habits and Frightened Parts of myself at the same time. I guess (know) awareness of it all is a step in the right direction, and I feel the undramatic-dramatic flip of the tent to be a comforting sign from the universe!
"Everything is alright, Dear - everything is a teaching/learning moment - I've got you covered, even if the tent doesn't" :) 
)

______

Thankfully I (presumably) have many years more of practice in the Earth school to practice precisely this - emotional awareness, conscious and compassionate living, and creating authentic power - choose the road less travelled!

We are all on Earth to learn. Nothing more, nothing less.
Learn to Love ( = process our fears).
I'm a full-time student in the Earth school.

______

I can hear the flight-attendant say:
"First on yourself, then on your children ("other living beings")"

Decks #81 and #126: The Mary-el Tarot and The Urban Tarot.