CQ + WP, Rabbit + Osho Zen

07.01.2020

Theme(s): fears + zen (this complex "concept" ...)

One formulation regarding the spirit of Zen: "simplicity and straightforwardness in grasping reality and acting on it "here and now"

Ah, this lovely worldview imprinted in my soul!

"a disciplined life of simplicity and naturalness as against a contrived and artificial one; of a life compassionately concerned with our own and the world's welfare and not self-centered and aggressive. A life, in short, of
harmony with the natural order of things and not in constant conflict with it.
" (link)

Ah - the natural order!
The lovely unfolding of life that happens when you don't try to force results - when you follow the natural flow of things, and let them develop in the (optimised) pace of nature!

<3

But, it's not that important how Zen is defined in this matter, as that's mostly a question of playing with words. Here I believe the central thing is that it can be dubbed as the opposite of fear (the first card) - maybe also as the antidote to the same! 

With Fear active in me I want to control the circumstances - I get irritated when circumstances, people and events don't "behave as I want them to do". Which creates conflict (aggressiveness) - conflict with the just mentioned natural order => conflict with how things just are. 
Not accepting things = applying energy of resistance (negative energy) on how things behave/are (wishing them to be different) reveals that one would prefer that others change their behaviour than change ones own perception - and underlying beliefs for that perception.
It is also the same thing as not taking responsibility in and for the situation - not taking responsibility for my fears, and what I feel - which the situation for sure may have triggered - but not created!!!
Resisting how things act and behave (wanting people to act, say or be different) and wanting them to change is an immature way of investing energy - and only produces and generates even more negative energy. The mature, responsible way to use the energy is to see and feel the fear inside oneself - see and feel the pain - not blaming or trying to change the outside thing merely triggering it. 
The more painful and uncomfortable the feeling - the more important to see it - and not continue to ignore it. Ignorance of/resistance to the feeling is exactly what caused the pain to grab hold in there in the first place, and what keeps it staying - not someones or somethings doing!

"Individuals who become angry think they are familiar with their emotions because of their outbursts. They are not. Angry outbursts are painful experiences, but they are not emotional explorations." (link)

________

The Rabbit of Fear longingly glances over it's shoulder to the Playful Spirit of Zen!

I so wish to live in the flow - rather than just sit, walk and run beside it, knowing of it, watching it! I'm afraid of jumping in. I don't want to take life so seriously, I want to play, and effortlessly let life itself guide me!
I'm rather tired of my fear - which of course doesn't help me - as that's the same thing as resisting it, and wanting things to be different!
But I admittedly wish I wasn't so afraid. 

But, hey, wait a minute! I cant BE afraid. I FEEL afraid. Or rather, a PART of me feels afraid. For sure quite a large part, but still only a part. It's just a feeling - not who I am! 
The soul (my essence) can't be afraid - I know that!!

"Ok, so what?" / Fear, not wanting to step down

With that knowledge I have the potential and a clear (not necessarily easy) path to change! 

"when you become aware of that, you naturally want to experience everything that you're feeling [note: YES!]. Your life then becomes a walking, living, 24/7 meditation that shows you the parts of your personality that you need to heal in order to be the loving and enlightened person that you know you can be. 

Every time you observe yourself out of control, such when you are arguing, a power struggle, or needing to smoke, eat, drink, gamble, watch pornography, have sex or work until you are exhausted, anytime you see any of those activities in you, you can stop that activity, even if it is only for a moment, and look inside yourself to feel what physical sensations are occurring.

Look for the physical sensations. Look for them in your throat, or your chest area or your solar plexus area. There are actually seven places in your body where you can look for those sensations. In the East, they are called chakras [note: where the pain resides, fear resides, a blockage/negativity in energy resides]. When you find those painful physical sensations and you focus on them, your attention automatically goes to what is occurring inside of you instead of what you think is creating what is occurring inside of you."

"That puts you in a position to start changing the source of those painful sensations. The source is not outside of you. It is never outside of you. It is inside of you, so as long as you continue to try to change what is outside of you, you won't be able change the source of your painful experiences. You may be able to relieve those experiences temporarily. For example, if you're angry at someone and you shout because you are angry, or you weep because that's your way of getting someone to do what you need them to do, then as soon as the other person does exactly what you want that person to do, you temporarily stop feeling the painful physical sensations in your body. But the next time another person does something that displeases you those sensations come back and the next time and the next time. So you have to keep trying to change people outside of you to get them to do what you want them to do, to think like you."
"
until you decide to look inside yourself and see what's happening in you, and when you begin that process it's painful. It's not easy to do, but if you don't do that, then you continue to be controlled by what's going on outside of you." (link)

1) I better stop resisting my fear, and 2) (continue to) explore it!
But, again, what to do with the pain..? Explain it so an eight year old would understand please :)

"The question is not what you do with the pain. The question is what you do with your life now that you're feeling the pain. Suppose that you've developed the skill in your life to be able to scan what you are feeling in the vicinities of energy centers in your body. Now when you feel that you absolutely need to have another cookie, you can scan and feel whatever painful sensations are occurring in you. Then the next question is whether you are going to have the cookie or not. If you take the cookie, that is the fix. Every time you choose not to take the cookie, the frightened part of you that is causing the pain that you have been masking by eating begins to lose its power over you. That's how you challenge it, and the more you challenge it, the more it loses its power over you and the more you gain power over it. That's how you create an authentically powerful life.

Most people are living an unempowered life. When they get angry they shout. When they feel hurt, they withdraw emotionally. When they don't want to experience the pain of feeling rejected or not having the world the way they want it to be, they work harder or have sex or take a drink and all of that is a loss of power. You lose power when you are controlled by external circumstances." (link)

Yeah, I lose a lot of power to my fear!

"That frightened part of your personality among other frightened parts is what's keeping you from enjoying your life, from giving your gifts, from accessing your creativity, your spontaneity. It's keeping you locked in a narrow focus of fear or resentment or anger or jealousy."

Yes, letting my Fearful Parts (Rabbit Deck) dictate my actions most certainly keeps me from joy, creativity and spontaneity - I very much feel that. Fear asks me to withdraw, to keep quiet - or lash out, to build fences, to seek false (outer/temporary) safety. Fear makes me indulge, explain, gossip, and in general distract or project my fears on others.
Highly destructive, and hence painful. 

(As it happens - a dream about a frightening rabbit with large fangs is one of the few nightmares I have had in my life - my fears are indeed my greatest and most important challenge)

________

CARDS
Rabbit Tarot: Queen of Tulips ('Queen of Cups')
"She can be unpredictable at times, possibly even cruel or fickle but is warm and inviting when she chooses."
Osho Zen: Page of Fire - Playfulness ('Page of Wands')

I'm aware that I write a lot about the same things, but this is the most effective way to process things for me, and it helps me stay detached and cultivate my joyful spirit and play - I find a lot of lovely, inspiring and supporting things when google around for suiting references, connections, writings, and images - expanding my knowledge and awareness in an 'organic' (not-forced) way - what comes up, comes up - as the cards have led me there in some sense - and the cards are chosen randomly! I find this to be an effective as well as amusing way to process my life and the full range of my feelings! 
This way of processing life keeps me anchored in a larger context, and it reminds me "not to take life, or myself, so seriously" (Osho Zen Card). 
And this "official" way of doing it challenges some of my fears and makes it feel more "real". It also "gets out there", get "delivered" somewhere - becomes a concrete contribution to the "collective spiritual growth" and "development of multisensory perception" on the collective scale. With reference to "The Critical Mass" thing for example!

This suits "the me I am now", "in the here and now"!

And:

"repetition is the mother of knowledge"

...as a saying goes - at least in Sweden!

_________

Many spiritual teachers recommend that you to write "gratefulness journals". It never really resonated with me - not the formal, controlled every-night/day way at least, as I am trying to release that very kind of doing things (scheduled, controlled things). 
I prefer to practice on feeling grateful, and expressing it.

But here comes an exception that confirms the rule (as we also say in Sweden):

I'm so grateful to myself that I decided (had the courage) to make a great change back in 2012 - and stick to it as my core responsibility through all the years since, no matter how afraid and lost I have felt on the way! It is not until very recently the feeling of being lost (that is: releasing the need to control life) have decided to at least sometimes loosen it's grip - a lovely feeling that more and more squeeze in among the feelings of fear, and slowly disperses them and their grips on me! 

And I'm grateful for all the individuals out there who write down their knowledge, and share their experiences, in the "spiritual/hidden realms" for everyone who comes after (like me), and generations to come!

Bless you, and Namaste!

Decks #96 and #91: Rabbit Tarot and Osho Zen Tarot (Osho also available as an app)


23% Majors and 23% Wands the past 2,5 months - I have a lot of focus on Life Path, Destiny, Calling, Karma and such (Majors), and cultivating and growing my Passion (inner fire), Inspiration, Creativity, and establishing connection to Spirit and divine energy (Wands).