Death + Justice, Housewives Tarot + Dog Tarot
I woke up with slight headache again. That usually not being a frequent ailment of mine I guess there is something blocked somewhere. Faulty thoughts or unfelt/unprocessed feelings - blocked energies.
Let's see if tarot:ing and some fun inner-life reflections releases it, shall we!
I feel as confused and astonished as the mice look!
From the beginning.
I opened the Random UX app, and gave it a spin.
59 - Housewives Tarot.
While shuffling the deck I thought to my self that this would of course be a day of practical things. Maybe put my teeth in the to-do-list I mentioned a couple of days ago! Or do some house cleaning.
Then suddenly thinking about "how to choose". "What is the right way to do this?" or "what is the right choice?" Not being in the best contact with my intuition yet (still having too much fear covering it - quite the green, murky water - water a common symbol for feelings/emotion) I have struggled with this for quite a while. My intellect have become so insanely flexible and versatile through the years, trying to fill the shoes of the missing intuition. It can think from (what it feels like) a million perspectives at the same time. Giving me far too many options, often contradicting each other or themselves. I certainly have tried to think myself through life. But always with deep attachment to the outcome, as mentioned above. "How can I do this right" - which in truth is plain fear. Earlier in life this represented a nicely dressed version of "how can I make others like me", "how can I make others happy", "what do others want from me", "how can I please?", "how can I avoid making others disappointed?"
Then I "found out about the soul", about destiny, about purpose, and so on and so forth. Wow! But in truth nothing changed, I just found a new direction for my "do right"-thinking. "What is the right thing to do to find my purpose?", "what does my soul want?", "what does 'God' expect me to do?", "I don't want to mess this up/make 'God' disappointed", "what should I do to 'activate' my intuition?", "how can I please 'God'/destiny, so he showers me with love, signs and meaning?". Still totally attached to the outcome - to the FUTURE!!! How silly!
I guess I've known it for quite some time - intellectually - but it dawned on me in a peculiar way this morning when shuffling the cards. And, while quickly writing a message to a stranger. I realised that I could feel my way through the writing. I could feel in my body every time I chose the "wrong word". And what were the "wrong" words you say? Unloving! Words containing hidden agendas, touches of energies wanting to control the result (manipulate) - attached to the outcome/the future! It dawned on me how simple it is to "do right". It really IS about choosing love, and about releasing the outcome to someone who knows better (that is, the Universe). Because if I chose from a place of true (unconditional) love (and not the shallow kind of 'love' that comes with strings attached) it WILL be right! Because choosing from love is what 'God intended', what that the "Universe wants", what the world NEEDS! It's not easy, but yet so Simple! "What is the most loving thing to do now, what is the most loving way to solve this, what is the most loving thing to say now"? Requires tons of courage, but oh so theoretically simple! (and so much easier to accomplish on distance (writing messages for example), with lots of time to feel and reflect - for a beginner like me!)
Wow. All this streamed through my head while shuffling my deck three times.
When flipping up the card I still (also) had in mind "this will be a day of chores".
Then came Death.
Housewives Tarot: Death
"an unavoidable ending * loss * necessary change"
"Something is rotten. The expiration date has passed and the food has spoiled. You may be reluctant to throw it away, and you may try to convince yourself that a little mould never hurt anyone, but only a fool would dare eat food riddled with botulism."
"This ending is necessary to make a fresh beginning and a tastier future."
On a really deep level I could feel the connection - my intellect draw a thousand connections, but my mind couldn't keep up. I felt I needed some clarification/confirmation or more information, so I checked if there was another card waiting. Yes it was (I draw another card if the dice says 1 or 2)
The Dog Tarot.
These two decks together really sums up the "do-right"-theme. How I've tried to do what I should ("keep the house clean, wear neat clothes, do my homework, be a good girl") with a tremendous sense of being loyal when doing it (stick to the rules, please, do what's expected and responsible, stay on the leash, bring the slippers - making it comfortable for others).
While all the time being very disloyal to my soul, spirit and purpose/meaning, and to the necessary evolution of the species/the universe/nature.
Only occasionally and sporadically were Love present - mostly there were just "duties being done", "survival-thinking", and in my case: fear.
A dog wanting to do right, trying to be just, and most of all wanting to please and not disappoint - from a societal point of view. Yearning to get that framed reward. With a soul hoping and longing for real treats, true connection, play and heartfelt love.
The Dog Tarot: Justice
"...the card of balance and ultimate compassion"
"...represents your dogs amazing capacity for deep, abiding, unconditional love and her inability to hold a grudge."
"...your canine is happily hardwired to accept her human's faults, cranky moods, and irritating idiosyncrasies."
"...humans have something to learn from every canine encounter."
(I've always been a 'cat-person' - not being able to connect with dogs!)
"The message for humans who draw the JUSTICE card is: Cultivate balance, and learn to view events and relationships through your higher nature. To err is human, to forgive is canine"
So. Out with the old view - the moulded food I used to eat and been reluctant to throw away(!) - and in with the new, and true loyalty - the unconditional one, with compassion for my own and others 'faults and mistakes', and with the greater good and true love at heart!
This being a day of a new moon (the one just before the beginning of a new decade even) it's quite a suiting time to set an intention for change, and throw out the old for the new (death/rebirth - waning/waxing)!
There is still laundry to wash, floors to sweep, and groceries to buy - but there are different ways to approach them, different ways to do them, different ways to chose which ones to do, and different ways to chose when to do them!
The difference always lies in the intention!
Is it out of a compulsion to please, or out of love and a true desire to be of selfless joyful service?
Is it out of (self-)pity or out of true compassion?
Is it crammed with expectations, hidden agendas and strings attached, or with am I loving and happily detached from the outcome?
Is it really what I ought to be doing, is it in line with my spiritual path, serving my spiritual growth and the greater good?
With a true, loving intention, magic (and a tastier future) can be created!
I know it - and I begin to feel it!
And the headache subsided :)
Decks #59 and #25: Housewives Tarot and Dog Tarot.