Eight of Wands + The Magician, Lost Tarot of Nostradamus + Medicine Woman

Themes: "Once buried, but found again" + "In the Service of Healing"

CARDS
Lost Tarot of Nostradamus: VIII of Suns ('Eight of Wands')
"The imagery shows a winged angel with a trumpet with which he will announce these great events yet to be"
"Some commentators suggest this is a card of falling in love, and this works well with the idea of taking time out to rest and review the direction of your life. At such times, we have a chance to notice the person who is special to us." What I feel my soul wants to do.
"Reversed, you may find yourself plagued with disputes [...] and a feeling of regret for opportunities lost." What I think my ego thinks. That I'm in a conflict, that I'm being "treated as shit", and that I should "take revenge", but ironically also that "I should have done it in another way"...! I woke up with a rather unexpected and unpleasant anxiety, and the heavy thoughts of "oh no, not yet another day to face... I can't take it. What's the point?!"
I managed to rub the worst of it off rather quickly, as I'm beginning to get quite acquainted with most kinds of feelings of anxiety - and ruff knowledge about where it comes from, and why.
But, because of being in a state of confusion and (because of/what I think is) rather deep transformation, I got/get rather perplexed when I receive this card, reversed. How to read it?! Is everything good, or is it "bad"?! Should I "bail out", "change direction", or "rest and continue (what it feels like) dreaming"?!
And adding to the confusion - it's a deck with rather unorthodox interpretations. The W8 usually reads quite different.
I DO know that the sense of conflict is in my head - and that it is merely triggered by outside events. BUT, outside events are also rather challenging. I AM being treated in a very, very "strange" way. All "energy talk set aside" I'm "justified to feel angry". Which ALSO complicates everything..!
Though - spiritually speaking - nothing can be complex - everything just...IS. 
Wow. I could easily go crazy now.
Another card, please?
Yes!
Medicine Woman Tarot: The Magician - Resources
"Your energy is your basic resource. Your sexuality is a large part of your energy system. It involves you in relationships."
"Be aware that what you need is probably at hand. Take stock of your resources and use them wisely."

***

All in all it breathes what I've been receiving the last couple of days. It's a challenging situation - feeling very "conflict-like", "digging up old shit" - but it has the purpose of healing. Maybe not just myself, but also helping others do the same? If I stay alert and do my job, and use my energies wisely.