Five of Cups + Ace of Pentacles, Eden + Ellis
You can't undo the past!
Better accept, learn whatever lessons involved, forgive (including yourself), and move on.
Mistakes or not, whatever happened, happened.
You did what you did, with the knowledge and awareness you had.
Which probably applies for all others involved too :)
Not until you forgive, release and move on (detach) is it likely that new opportunities/experiences will unlock/appear!
And/or, if you focus on what's lacking in your situation, chances are that your missing new opportunities just behind your back. The chances to attract inspiring opportunities, projects or things, are most probably greater if you adopt a forgiving and grateful attitude than if you send out a sort of self-pity vibe..!
There are still two cups standing right behind you dear (the traditional C5) - all around you can see it - why can't (wont) you?
Paradise aint about everything BEING perfect and happy all the time - it's about SEEING (knowing) everything IS (in) perfect (order)!
It aint helping resisting what is, wishing it different.
Grief and sadness have their purposes and times and healing effects, but then there's plain 'dwelling'!
"Look at the crucifixion, but do not dwell on it" ~Marianne Williamson~
Heaven (Eden) isn't a place, it's most of all a mindset, and a choice.
(Admittedly, it took me 34 years to realize it #LateBloomer)
Little is likely to change unless YOU are willing to change - and sadly it's seldom enough to WANT to change.
Just like it not likely that you will build muscles by WANTING to go to the gym!
And the classic - Be what you want to attract!
Deck: Eden Tarot
Theme: "before the fall"
Card: Five of Cups (R)
Deck: Ellis decK
Theme: "I wish I wanted to..."
Card: Ace of Pentacles