Five of Swords, Girlfriend's Tarot
Deck: Girlfriend's Tarot (Certainly one of my most expensive and rare decks!)
Card: Five of Swords (R)
"After a brief respite, the Suit of Swords returns to the dark side with the five, which warns you may soon suffer humiliation and dishonor at the hands of cruel adversary. If reversed, the card indicates that a friend may suffer the same fate or that you're facing an uncertain future." Car-wise, this seems rather fitting!
Relationship-wise this does (see the past days writings, regarding a certain "conversation"):
"Reconciliation, making amends, past resentment"
"You've been pushing and pushing, but whoever is on the other end is not listening. And no doubt they feel the same. You're both fighting to win, at the expense of the other person."
"...shows that you want this period of fighting to be over so you can forgive and forget, and then focus your energies on more constructive activities such as restoring your relationship back to normal. You realise that there can only be losers in this battle and want to move on." Not that I've been pushing that hard, and not that it has been a battle, as that takes two persons - and he totally refrains from engaging, from some kind of fear or unawareness of what I am "accusing him" of. But I guess that I've had more of a conflict inside. The ego pushing for "Tell him!!", "Make him answer to his behaviour!", "Confront his loose talk!" and so on and so forth. The soul (and the cards) tirelessly patient, with both the ego and him. Knowing that there would certainly only be losers in such a battle, conditions being as they are. Better focus on constructive activities, which I certainly do. I encourage any activities that means him not laying in the sofa, or sitting by the kitchen table - and, admittedly, preferable with me..!
I focus maybe not on "restoring to normal", as there isn't any "normal" to restore to, but on understanding him and where he comes from. Not to create a normal relationship, but to create a more balanced and healthy relationship. Something he seems to never have had. Me neither I guess...!! (:
"...can express conflict in your life that you have tried to walk away from but which continues to follow you." The ego wants to "get out of this", but I've felt from the first second that this relationship is something special and important. I've grown immensely from it from the start, and continue to do so - whether he's "changing" or not. I'm focusing very much on NOT changing him, but I do try to make him see himself from time to time.
This I'm very much learning right now: "you are ready to move forward with your life and create positive change. Bring your energy back within and ground yourself. Come back to that beautiful, soulful person you are and ask yourself: how can I help create a win-win solution here?" I've been strangely draw to helping others, spreading joy, and FEELING joy these last days! Such awesome experience and development!