Five of Swords, Secret Tarot
Theme: "secrets are revealed for the trained eye, the intuitive and the open mind"
Deck: Secret Tarot
Card: Five of Swords (R)
"Victory gained with great pain."
"As a card of conflict, tension and disagreement, the Five of Swords reversed shows that you want this period of fighting to be over so you can forgive and forget, and then focus your energies on more constructive activities such as restoring your relationship back to normal. You realise that there can only be losers in this battle and want to move on." Now a friend relationship is in focus. I have "lashed" out - that is, told the truth to this person's ego. An ego very uninterested in truths related to itself. I know this. I've "kept my mouth shut" for a long time. But when the person this is related to brought a highly unreachable wish to the fore I open it. Unreachable because it was a wish concerning "I want to live a frictionless life", with the underlying wish "if just everyone around me could adjust to my wants"... And man how she tries to change ("teach") them. I just "had" to say, "I'm sorry, but that's just not how it works..." Of course I angered her ego with my "attack", of course I pushed her away.
No one can win. I point in pushing on (like I used to do with her - and others), it's too great a resistance. She wont "give in" - her ego's too stubborn. Too focused on being right, and very resistant to personal responsibilities/personal change.
This time I wont push on. I'm backing off. I've given her the option that we can look in to it all with the Tarot, in the most playful way possible "as I know your ego is easily offended", and I will leave it there.
We've been here before, and probably will again.
It's just "no point in talking weather" when what we do best is talking about life and personal development - but that becomes rather hollow when there's only one of us truly interesting in changing, and the other is stuck in fear and bitterness (again) and wanting to change others.
Of course, I would/could have asked more about what's bothering her, and why, then just state what I did. But said is said. But, as it is possible to communicate with her, I've tried a new grip. I've tried to describe things from my view, and my lessons in it.
It's very interesting that I have two insanely stubborn persons close to me, highly reluctant to see themselves. Both of them born in Aries. Their suns in my 7th house, opposite my Asc.
Of course, I have a fairly stubborn side too, and an insanely angry and resistant side, so I guess it could be about managing resistance for me. Not to take their resistance personally. They are not resisting me - they are resisting themselves (their souls/life lessons). And there's no point in pushing my point, the universe will take care of the pushing. And, they have the right to use their free will exactly how they want to. Do what they feel is right. Still living in the perception that they ARE their thoughts and feelings.