Four of Pentacles, Shadowscape Tarot

09.02.2020

Theme: ...

It's not really possible to convey what this deck represents for me. It's involving some sort of life target, general sensation and intense beauty.
This is a deck that I bought early on. It was among the first 10. And I bought it because of the sheer beauty of it. It has a timeless energy, and beautiful colouring. It has a fairy-tale energy that stops time, and invites you to reconnect with your childhood innocence and curiosity. It tickles my Soul!

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It's rather interesting that it has taken the P4 so long to show up in this CotD series! When I begun Tarot:ing, back in approx 2015, I used to get the P4 quite often. Unlikely often.
I did not like to get it, as it breathes rather selfish, greedy and negative energies!
I new it as a great problem of mine, and did not like to get remembered about this weakness!
And another card that often used to come was Ace of Pentacles (yesterdays card). They are a little bit like dance partners - if you let go of clinging and holding on (P4), you receive (P1)! The more you give, the more you get - if it is authentic giving, from the heart, and not giving just to get (things, praise, money, time)! When the advice from Santa is followed - "be good for goodness sake!" - and not with second agendas, or to feel good. Being obsessed with doing good and helping is an addiction as much as overindulging in alcohol or food...!

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This P4 is a little bit as a continuation where I left of yesterday - regarding flow, timing and how that is disrupting the Ego's plans, wants and craving for immediate results and payoffs for investments. 
The P4 is in one way how the Ego tries to prevent being disturbed and robbed of control.
It refuses to go along. It resists. It withhold resources (time, energy, money) - as to not invest them in things that it feels insecure or uncertain about. In that way the Ego (perceives that it) secures that resources will not be wasted, that it stays in control of how things proceed, and that it remains safely in its comfort zone. "No risking - no risk of disappointment, waste, failure, feeling uncertain or of wrong-doing". "This way I stay in charge, safe and on top of everything" it assumes. It sees risks everywhere - and leaves all the lovely chances and possibilities in life untouched!! The Ego does not have time to just let go of everything, and see the beauty of all life, the magic that always permeates it, step out into the unknown and embrace it - The Shadowscape Tarot. 
What the Ego doesn't realise - or acknowledge/admit - is that this behaviour and world perception keeps it from growing, developing, learning, co-operation and also... true love(ing). It keeps it (and its host - the person) from happiness, contentment and true wealth (which was discussed yesterday), as it is busy with staying in control (fear).

Fear of letting life be. Of letting life happen. Fear of letting go. Fear of being. Fear of feeling. Fear of looking.

The Ego takes no risks (and therefore experience few chances) - it holds, grabs, clings, take, hoard, resist, complain, attack, defend.

"Ego is always identification with one form or another, which could be a possession-my house, my car, and so on. Your sense of who you are is in that thing. If that thing is then criticized by somebody else, you become extremely defensive or aggressive because your sense of self is being threatened. There are other forms of identification; opinions are mind forms. "I am right" implies, of course, that somebody else has to be wrong."

"The ego has been here for thousands of years, and that means it has its place in the evolution of humanity. But our ability to think more and more, so that gradually we became identified with thinking, was how we lost a deeper connectedness with life-with Paradise. I believe we are now at an evolutionary transition where far more human beings than ever before are able to go beyond ego into a new state of consciousness." (oprahtalk)

Card: Four of Pentacles
"THE DRAGON COILS tightly around his hard-earned hoard. He has spent many human lifetimes gathering up such a vast treasure. No one shall touch it; no one shall steal it from him!"
"Mine!"
"He knows they are waiting for a moment of weakness to slip in and take."
"Even the light touch of wind feels like a thief..."
"The Four of Pentacles embodies a possessive spirit, one who wants always to be in control. As a result, he lives within limitations, a cage of his own making, and is highly averse to change."
"He is obstructive, in denial of his own weaknesses, chained by those very weaknesses."
"He is a miserly and miserable being who is financially well off but with a spirit that has been locked down by that preoccupation with his material state."

Reversed - so maybe "the worst is behind me"? :)

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And (in line with the Law of Attraction - like attracts like) the more afraid you are of loosing resources, and the harder you treasure and hold on to them (believe you need/are them)  - the more you experience them/yourself being threatened...! The greedier your are the more greed you encounter..!
Persons who gladly give, without attachment or desire for reward, happily receive as much - be it money, love, time. To be able to both (truly) give and (truly) receive is of importance in and by itself!

I started reading about "stuff like this" only a couple of years ago - but I immediately knew it to be true. All my inner evolutionary logic said 'yes'. This is the way it has to be! It all makes sense! It connected to everything I've read before (Jung, Dyer, Chopra, and so on) and also felt so far (Soul-wise) in life. 
The Loving Parts of my Personality wanted it to be true, but didn't fully trust. They were not sure enough to dare action along this line. My Frightened Parts surely wanted it to be true to - but saw too many risks. They were on the Ego's side - since many many many many years. 

Now I've slowly tried to walk a few steps on this kind of path - and have thereby added the "experience thereof" to my earlier "theoretical conviction"! The "evidences" are maybe not of "the greatest kind" (if looked upon from outside - with little "knowledge" or interest in life) - but they are obvious (for the ones who dare to truly look and feel "the magic within it"). 

The Ego is still sceptic - of course. It will probably always be - but hopefully it will continue the trend to scream quieter and quieter, and loosen its grip on me as a whole more and more :)

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"Once you're trapped in your own conceptual identity, which is based on thinking and image-making by the mind, then you do the same to others. This is the beginning of pronouncing judgments on others, and then you believe that judgment to be the truth. It's the beginning of desensitizing yourself to who that human being truly is."

"Every ego wants to be special. If it can't be special by being superior to others, it's also quite happy with being especially miserable. Someone will say, "I have a headache," and another says, "I've had a headache for weeks." People actually compete to see who is more miserable!"

"The ego wants to be right all the time. And it loves conflict with others. It needs enemies, because it defines itself through emphasizing others as different." (oprahtalk)

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I know you do dear Ego - but I just don't!
Feel free to wallow, judge, complain, and blame, but I just don't like to engage with you when you enter this resistant and destructive habit - so I don't!
Let me know when you're done, and when you're open and receptive again, and we'll create magic together :)

Deck #117: Shadowscape Tarot (I have both the physical version and the app)