Hermit + PQ, Infinity + Fire
Theme(s): "managing the ordered chaos of the universe" + "inner fire - passion - soul mission"
We all know the snake from the story of Eden!
'Bring out the light, and watch out for snakes laying on your path'!
It is challenging to explore your inner depths (darkness). To find inner snakes (Frightened Parts of your Personality) that are triggered by chaotic unorganised outside events and/or other individuals active snakes (Frightened Parts), and find your way to keep them in check.
It is challenging to keep detached from your activated inner snakes, see clearly, and being the one to calmly bring light, knowledge and a Peace Pipe to the situation - no matter how heated it is - which is one of the (my) soul's missions.
It is also a challenge to learn to see in which situations mutual peace and understanding is not possible or reachable for the moment being, and withdraw efforts - or rather, realise when my ego has taken over, with it's hopes (read unrealistic expectations in the Now) for the situation to be different, and frantically tries to change it - in some desperate attempt to get out of it - instead of accepting it and move on, no matter the outside reactions or judgements thereof.
The ego has so many fascinating illusions about what reality is, and what's important!
The ego generally insists on Fight or Flight as being the only reactions possible - and it also insists that immediate reaction always is necessary.
My ego still have a tendency to perceive flight as a defeat, when inner snakes tells it that it is being cornered, and then rather fight out of old habit - because it doesn't perceive peaceful withdrawal as and option, it is equal to flight to it.
My ego is also very naive in thinking it can bring clarity to each and every situation - assuming and hoping that life knowledge is always wanted, inherently helpful and must be the fastest way to peace for everyone.
My ego has a hard time accepting when help is not asked for, wanted and/or calmly received, especially when it perceives that the situation really needs detachment and clarification, and when individuals unconsciously have asked for it - that is, when my soul feels the needs and desires of the other soul, and my calling kicks in. Then the ego immediately wants to act, and help/save the soul, for the greater good - forgetting that the soul in need is chained to an ego as well as mine is.
My ego interprets the information regarding a chained soul as a problem to be solved, through years of studies and experience it perceives is has the technical solution to it, and it sees the theoretical fruitful future results of it - and gets lost in these thoughts, and thereby loses touch with The Now, and therefore finds The Now highly distressing if it doesn't match it's super-duper solution process - because it wants The Now to be different. The ego then habitually starts campaigning. Either for change of the The Now, or for fleeing from it as quickly as possible - if it doesn't seem to change in, for the ego, 'right' direction. Either choice making it feel utterly unhappy, because:
The ego sins - misses the mark! (The original meaning of the word sin is "missing the mark" - cool, huh?)
'Aiming for the target and falling short'!
What the ego just wont realise is that anything but accepting the now is a more painful solution..! Adding to the perceived problem, and making it harder and harder to "solve". Adding to the Pain Body - and making life more and more painful, as the Pain Body more and more take you over and 'become you'.
Your Pain Body survives through being ignored, not acknowledged and it gets nourishment from your unconscious actions and thoughts, and engagement in conflicts and fearful reactions.
"So the pain-body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. All emotional pains suffered during your life fall within the pain-body. Apprehension, self-hate, remorse, rage, envy, and other negative emotions are a representation of the pain-body...."
"Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible." (Eckhart Tolle)
"The real work of breaking free of the pain-body is to acknowledge that you are identified with it. Hence, the challenge is not the pain-body itself, but our identification with it."
I am not my pain (body) - the pain (body) is only a part of me.
I am not my fear - there are Fearful Parts in me.
These have been great revelations - formulations of things I already felt and deep down knew - for me!
Being anchored in this universal truth have made my life so much easier, and I'm on my way to internal peace - a possibility given to each and everyone of us!
"This means you need to learn how to recognise the pain-body as it arises. It can arise when you are triggered by a negative encounter with someone or when something happens that reminds you of a past experience that was painful. The smallest event can trigger a big reaction, but even though the reaction is big doesn't mean you see it for what it is." (link)
"This is everyone's job in this life. We need to be there and recognize our pain-body when it shifts from dormant to active. At that moment, when it takes over your mind, the internal dialogue we have - which is dysfunctional at the best of times - now becomes the voice of the pain-body talking to us internally.
Everything it tells us is deeply influenced by the old, painful emotion of the pain-body. Every interpretation, everything it says, every judgement about your life and what's happening, will be totally distorted by the old emotional pain.
If you are alone, the pain-body will feed on every negative thought that arises and get more energy. You end up thinking about things for hours, depleting your energy." (link)
I am firmly anchored in the knowledge that I am not my pain, that I am not my fear - but still find it challenging to live it from time to time (lessening). I still need a fair amount of solitude time (my personal version of meditation) for detachment from and neutral watching of my inner snakes after longer periods of being social, and after intense meetings and/or situations where I haven't been able to keep the snakes in check in a responsible way.
I still have a rather strong ego, and also a quite substantial Pain Body calling for attention (nutrition) - consisting of both a personal and a collective (inherited) part (as mentioned the other day).
Why? For nature to know, for me to find out.
And I will!
Infinity Tarot: The Hermit
"A past of wisdom and comprehension leads to the knowledge useful in discerning the path for the future"
Fire Tarot: Queen of Pentacles
"...the peace pipe brought by the White Buffalo dressed as the goddess Whope."
"The queen is a woman capable of positively transforming elements she comes into contact with."
And any experience is neither good or bad - it just IS!
When we think of an experience as bad, we label something that by nature just IS - this nature replies with bad feeling - hence, pain all of my own making/asking!
It's Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Bad and Evil - the snake again :)
I am the creator of my own life - through my own perception thereof!
Smoking Peace Pipe - lightened by the fire from your lantern - with your snakes is the road to inner harmony :)
Decks #65 and #41: Infinity Tarot and Fire Tarot