Page of Cups, Healing Tarot

09.12.2019

Theme: way to wellness

Wasn't this a deck eager to give guidance again!? Received it and opened it only 2 days ago!

Card: Page of Cups
Focal point: "the groin"
"When you hide your thoughts, desires, and intentions from others, you create and carry a heavy feeling of mass with you wherever you go"
"watch for ailments of the sexual organs"

<3
I have neglected and hidden my inner self pretty much since birth.
I have a weak, unbalanced Venus in my natal horoscope - last degree of Libra.
I have two uteruses, which have generated some pain, challenges and questions wondering why.

"while trying to interact, he simultaneously holds something back"
"Focused on the limitations of another"
"Admitting your childishness taking responsibility for yourself are essential actions if your are to be well"

Earlier in life I never felt there to be any place for the "real" me, my unique qualities, and my life-questions. I always ended up doing things I should, could and would - not what I desired and needed, soul-wise and spiritually.
Always waiting for someone else, out there, to see ME - instead of seeing myself, and take care of my lonely, frightened inner child and soul myself. Mostly because I never knew how, or even that such a "concept" existed - you (sadly) don't learn this stuff in society.
This 5-sensory-society. 

"The object of detection of that system is physical reality. That was sufficient and appropriate for our evolution until this point. Now we are developing a second sensory system. That second system is intuition. Intuition and multisensory perception are the same."

"Multisensory perception is more than that. It is also resonating with the idea that you are more than a mind and a body, that you are a soul, and that there is a difference between your personality and your soul."
(seatofthesoul.com)

I'm now very much focusing on seeing and taking action for my self, and stop the waiting for another to do it! 
I'm continuously developing my interaction with people and animals. Practising openness, being positive, joyful, detached - but without holding back my essence (thoughts, intentions, desires)! 
I'm continuously practising staying detached from the outcome (eventual silence and/or discomfort shown by others because of my openness and transparency to life). 
I am continuously working on accepting everything just as it is. 
I am continuously practising feeling my emotions, and searching for the source of them.
I am continuously investigating and expanding myself. (Jupiter on Ascendant)
To name a few of my focal points.

"Authentic Power: alignment of the personality with the soul (with harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life)"
(authentic power vocabulary)

"Multisensory perception is realizing that the experiences in your life are not random. They are purposeful and meaningful. Each one holds an enormous potential for the expansion of your consciousness. Each one is tailored exquisitely for you. Every circumstance that you encounter is the best circumstance possible for your spiritual growth, given the wisdom of the choices that you have made."
(seatofthesoul.com)

Now I strongly feel in my heart (not just know in my head) that there is a place for me and my unique capabilities.
I don't know (or feel) exactly where yet, but I'm moving in the direction of it. Step by step.
Investing and engaging in myself.
Taking responsible, conscious and spiritual action (instead of sitting still, waiting, wanting, wishing, hoping).
Listening.
Watching.
Feeling.
Sensing.
Looking.
Thinking.
Touching.

"...your life is attempting to lead you in the direction your soul wants you to move - toward greater awareness and freedom."

"The first step in this process is to develop emotional awareness. In order to grow spiritually, you need to become aware of everything that you are feeling. Everything. Your emotions are the force field of your soul. You will never find your soul in your head. You will find it in your heart. That is where divine intelligence resides. As you become aware of all that you are feeling, each of those feelings will lead you to a part of your personality. In order to create consciously, you must be aware of all of the parts of your personality. There is no way to do that except by becoming aware of your emotions.

When you become conscious of all of the parts of your personality, they still have their own goals, agendas and values, but they don't surprise you anymore. Your obsessions, fixations, compulsions, and addictions are known to you. Then you are in a position to decide which parts of yourself you want to cultivate and which you want to change. Then you are in a position to choose "to create" responsibly, to apply your free will consciously to your choices. You will not be able to do this as long as you have parts of yourself that are operating outside your field of awareness."
(seatofthesoul.com)

PS.
The desire and dream of mine earlier defined as "getting married" is now renamed to:
"finding a spiritual partnership".

"Spiritual partnerships are the most fulfilling, substantive, and deep relationships possible. They are relationships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. Growing spiritually means creating a life of more joy and less pain, more meaning and less emptiness, and more love and less fear. As we become aware of ourselves as more than we once thought that we were-and this is happening to millions of people-we long for relationships that are the most meaningful and rewarding possible, that support us in becoming healthy, vibrant, creative, and loving."
(what-are-spiritual-partnerships)

(not excluding the act of getting married of course :)
preferably including a horse and carriage ride to/from the ceremony!)

Deck #52: Healing Tarot

"When you let your personality engage in negativity, it is like feeding your soul arsenic.