S5 + P8, Riderless + Dream Enchantress

30.01.2020

Theme(s): instinct + getting a grip of your dreams. Sort of kind of.

Somewhat complex reflection overall, hard to put words on, arise. 

Riderless Tarot: a horse without rider - a horse unbridled. Free to act and react. Acting on instinct. Action and reaction depending on inner status - scared, calm, trusted, uncertain, balanced or unbalanced. Soft relaxed action if calm or  trusted and understood by human - tensed fight or flight reaction if fearful or uncertain or not trusting its human. 

Dream Enchantress: there are messages from the universe to be found in dreams, visions, sensations, etc. They can be rather hard to get a grip of - as the unconscious contains both darkness and light. There are pitfalls. There is the Ego who screws interpretations to its favour. We all heard about sirens and such. When you jump in the deep end of the pool, and begin searching your own depths (the seas, the symbol of the unconscious), there they are. At The Surface. It's easy to get lost in surfaces and material things. The source and core is beyond. It's only enchanting if you get lost in thoughts, feelings - also things. No matter how stormy and turbulent on the surface - the waters are always calm in the depths.

So, that's how my mind goes regarding the decks - in very clumsy words. Words can only give crude descriptions, and a description can never be the thing in itself. 

________

CARDS - both reversed
Riderless Tarot: 5 of Swords
"a misunderstanding, short term gain or victory"
Dream Enchantress: Eight of Pentacles
"Patient study and consistent application of skills... these are steps towards mastery. Don't stop until you get it exactly how you want it."

Aaah - SO many hooks for the Ego to bite!
Gain, victory, application of skills, don't stop until you get it exactly how you want it.

I am now following my dreams, my sensations and my heart. But, man do I have to go slowly. In each and every step the Ego intercept and distract me with anxiety and guilt regarding surfaces - mostly in the shape of money. Which ironically doesn't even come in form any longer - it's mostly only numbers on a screen...!
Anyhow, my Ego is totally 'enchanted' by these numbers. These fictive numbers, made up by humans so that we can "value" stuff. 

I am now walking on my spiritual path. I study diligently, and slowly 'take my steps towards mastery'. But for each and every step 'I' apply my new gained (developing) skills - the Ego applies his/its old habitual ones, and make my sight foggy.

The Ego has a VERY different view on "get it exactly how you want it".
Every time when 'I' - with heart and soul - have made a decision to do something, and enter a "do" phase involving (more than a little) money, the Ego really becomes a pain in my ass!

I do the searching, I do the feeling, I do the sensing. And act. 
To The Best of My Knowledge - I am a newbie on this path.
Hence the "Riderless Horse" theme. The Instinct thing.
It's not pure intuition, not full connection with my core and essence. 
It's still much interpretation - dreams, cards, etc. I have to go a bit on Instinct - why it's so very important that I (as far as it is possible) only act when I am calm, and not have the Fight or Flight function switched on.

The ego knows this. It knows about this window of opportunity. This gap between intuition and instinct - the uncertainty gap, which it more than gladly fills with it's advice and habits!!

"Was that really a good affair?"
"Are you sure you can't find it cheaper some other place?"
"Are you sure you REALLY need that?"
"Don't forget about the VAT"
"Save all receipts, you have the right to get money back"
"Use the system for your benefit"

It makes my chest cramp, my head ache, and I also feel a little sick. 
Everything feel totally relaxed and right until the moment I click "confirm", then the uncertainty kicks in, and the Ego bites.
It is all about the 'short term gains'. VAT in and out, percentages here and there. "Rights" and "what's in it for me". Much focus on it's own benefit - which my heart and soul disapprove about. It feels like manipulation, greed, selfishness, narrow-mindedness.  
My heart and soul is about the long term goals - spiritually and evolutionary speaking. Beyond our tax-laws and ever changing 'systems'. They are about those actions that just feels right - from a greater perspective. From the collective perspective, and the greater good. They are firmly anchored in "what you give you will (eventually) get". What I send out I attract.
If I send out "greed" - I will encounter the like.
If I try to earn and get every cent I can in every situation - I will attract situations and persons treating me the same way.
My Heart and Soul - my essence - the Whole Me do not want that.
That is not the way to a peaceful, open, trustful and loving world. 
Only peace, openness, trust and love can create a peaceful, open, trustful and loving world.

That I want to be a part of.
That is the long-term goal - that I am aware I will not live to see.
That is the way I want to live.
Even though I will not live to see it, I can to my best to assure it's happening.
I even see that as one of my core responsibilities.
Talk the talk, walk the walk - and be one of those that rise the awareness in consciousness to a higher (spiritual and higher frequency) level.

_____

But for now I have to accept that I still have an Ego stuck on short term gains. I won't fight it. I accept it for what it is, and it will slowly loose it's power over me.
It is the way it is trained, it knows no other way. Nothing is wrong. Everything is as it is. Now. 
With awareness it will change.

"Patient study and consistent application of skills... these are steps towards mastery. Don't stop until you get it exactly how you want it."
How 'I' want it - not how the Ego wants it. 

It is not happy at the moment - but I am, deep below!
It is scared, out of control, out of it's comfort zone - I am curious and excited, below that fog!

One step at the time. 
One foot in front of the other!

Decks #107 and #28: The Riderless Tarot and Dream Enchantress Tarot