Seven of Swords, Atavist Tarot

19.03.2020

Seven of Swords two days in a row, what a coincidence ;)

Theme: "finding balance - religion/science" (or spirit/head - or intuition/facts)

________

RECAP

Fact: newly moved houses
(Ego) Perceived facts ('science'): lot of stuff that must be done - needs to be planned and executed accordingly, 'time is money'

Spirit/Intuition ('religion' without the "worship"): there's nothing to plan - Universe got you covered, just feel, sense and listen

Only rational 'science' - the Ego's way - picking and choosing facts that 'fit' personal wishes and wants:

Past Week Summary
- Ego not accepting the situation (Healing Tarot)
- Mentally stuck in following plans, current societal mentality and/or the head - ending up feeling like no more than a clog in a great machinery (Steampunk Tarot)
- Contemplating the meaning of life (the situation) (Gendron Tarot)
- Continued hard time for the Ego to 'look behind the scenes' - not accepting a greater scheme - bulldozing on (Crystal Visions/Vikings)
- The energy starts to shift (St.Croix/Girlfriend)
- Not yet charged (Ellis decK)
- Powers are coming back - the feeling of 'timing' and connectedness slowly returns (Xultun Tarot)

Back to now.
Just as usual, it takes many, many hours (days) of reflection and contemplation to convince my Ego to release its painful grip of my Soul (and body) - to simplify it.
But, the second energy begins to seep through the slowly dissolving blockage the Ego begins planning again. Like it hasn't been listening to a word the past week...!
It starts looking at all the things that 'have to be done' - still looking, without feeling.
Wow.

It's certainly just beginning to release its grip - highly unwilling to let go of control (totally neglecting that control can be had - over anything)
I find it very hard to handle my Ego - always have.
It still takes very much concentration, focus and hence energy.
Although also rather tricky, I have found it much easier to handle my Pain Body - both the personal one and the heavy collective one. The latter being highly frightening, but still easier to manage, cope with and handle than my extremely versatile and slippery Ego.

______

Card: Seven of Swords
"You are mentally exhausted at the moment. Too many things are happening and you can no longer hold them all in your minds; it becomes impossible to see where you are going. This causes a feeling of powerlessness and a lack of control, which in turn leads you to redouble your efforts in order to try to remain in control. In reality you are fine."
Yes, I just realised that I'm probably trying to 'handle' my Ego to much...! The control I just blamed the Ego for seeking, I'm trying to pose on the Ego! 
I DO 'know' everything is fine, as it should be - but I'm probably put to much effort into my Ego. It's maybe not only the Ego that has to let go of plans, its probably also 'me' having to let the Ego go?! 
I don't know - as the card says: 'it's impossible to see where I'm going' now :)
"The background of this card is a radioactive, fluorescent swirl of disparate colours, on which the white text is fighting to be seen. This represents a lack of mental clarity. Opportunities and possibilities appear and disappear out of the mist of indecision and confusion you feel. The seven swords are represented by seven hollow tweezer-like implements, representing the anxiety and paranoia you feel. Success seems to keep slipping out of your grasp; it is as if you are trying to eat soup with a pair of tweezers. This card is, thus, an image of manic futility." (Yesterday's card was named 'Warrior of Futility'!)
"Advice: recognise the real cause of your confusion and lack of control. Give yourself a break. Do not become trapped by too many unrealistic expectations of yourself. Draw another card from the deck to find a positive way through your problem or see what will happen when you tackle it."
OK.

"He clasps the stone in his hands. It has cleaved cleanly from his chest. It shines so brightly that he stands and stares into its heart, unmoving, unblinking for endless hours. The pictures begin to unfold, the mud coming to life"

"This card represents the desire to evolve, to understand and to grow spiritually. As such, it appears in a reading when you have made a sudden leap of understanding in your life. It indicates that your creative powers are bubbling up and blending, producing external and internal harmony in your life."

Concept of the card
"The body of the searcher has almost disappeared, signifying the dissolving of his personality in the process of searching for his goal. The posture of his body indicates that his search has been directed inward."
"The astrological sign associated with this card is Sagittarius, who is represented as a centaur archer aiming his arrow high into the heavens."