Seven of Wands, White Numen Tarot


Theme: "return home - don't push it, let it come"

A new VERY LOVELY deck! <3
I had eyeballed it for quite some time before I finally ordered it. Together with the Luna Sol Tarot (still unopened).


Love the theme of the deck, which I've conjured from the energy I get from the deck and writings in the introduction to it.
Yes, Tarot is a great passion, and it feels VERY right to have become a student of the Biddy Tarot Certification Program! But I really have to work with "doing it my own way". Not just "following orders", trying to push things, but let it come to me in a way that it wants to.
Example: "go through your deck card by card!" is a task early in the program.
It's just not my thing with new decks, or decks at all..! I prefer to 'let the decks come to me'. Often I don't even open new decks when I get them, but put them unwrapped on the shelf among the others, and open them the day a draw them the first time.
Today this happened with this newly bought deck! Only had it for 1-2 weeks before the Universe pointed it out - in Just The Right Time!

But this only means that I open it, read through the book, and draw the card of the day (or do a reading, if that's on the table when it's ) and put it away again..! Until next time the Universe advice me to look at it.
I feel it to be rather intrusive to go through it all at once. Just like I don't cross examine a person I just met, I don't do it with my decks! And the novelty of a card and its message is quite crucial in my style of reading. The more I've seen a card the higher the risk my head 'takes over'. "Oh, I've seen this, I know what it means!" The link to my intuition is not that thick, and easily get cut when the head interferes - so I have to create the best circumstances I can for my intuition to 'come through'. Or something. This is how I do it, and how it feels right and good - this is how I need to grow and expand my knowledge and awareness. Naturally.

I SO much love the following writing in the White Numen instructional guide (she writes about her dreams, but I feel its fitting to all kind of gifts from the universe):

"I think that these things have to come naturally to yourself, and by trying to force them you only send them further away." Alba, White Numen Tarot

I think this is totally what the cards were telling me when I did a Soul Alignment Check-In (by BiddyTarot) the other day:

1. What am I inviting into my life right now
2. What is this opportunity bringing into my life
3. How is this opportunity in alignment with my soul purpose
4. What is my best course of action with this opportunity
5. What lesson am I discovering in the process

This is really something very great - C2. Attraction in its very best sense. A partnership with possibilities - I hope! But its really me uniting with my soul. Listening to its needs, wishes and advice. It's bringing both the need for rest, and and end to rest. End to the life I've been living (which is the 'opportunity' in it), almost as a hermit, 'doing my own thing'. But this new challenge and adventure calls for a lot of continued withdrawal and contemplation. So that each step I take in this new direction is in alignment with my soul, and not my head pushing for advancement 'because of'. Because of searching recognition, because of forcing the process, because of strictly following a schedule. 
W9 doesn't really look like "good" card in this position, but to me it feels just right. This is how my life always has felt, and in some sense probably always will. Me truly getting to the bottom (of myself) in everything I meet - that IS tough work. That is how you build Strength (my birth card). You have to hang in there until it's DONE, and not quit and give up at the finish line. But the 'rewards'..!! So this is how I will get through this program too. Step forward, withdraw (S4), reflect and process. Again and again. And not quit because its feel like 'unrewarded hard work'. And NOT begin resisting the process, and the gifts that the universe is giving me - C4. But find a way to stay open, receive, and have the courage to use the gifts as it suits MY soul! The whole program is about developing the connection with your own intuition, right?! And if I 'play my cards right (!!!)' I will learn much more about giving as well as receiving! <3 
Even though (because I'm) not doing everything as Biddy/Brigit tells/advice me to, but do it as I feel I have to do it, I really feel that I'm growing - and that quickly! I already have a much more calm and confident feeling when I draw cards. And I have an excitement truly growing in me - of a kind I've never felt before!



Deck: White Numen Tarot
Card: Seven of Wands
(funnily enough the same card as the (social media) Card of the Week at Biddy's! :) )
"The battle has already begun. A true fight, or sparring in celebration of victory? Either way joy is taken in the conflict and progress is made.
The ego feel confronted from time to time when reading some tasks, before I feel my own way through them. But it's no 'true conflict'! It's a path and direction I've chosen from joy, a "battle" I want and need to "fight" (heal on the inside) - for progress and growth! Biddy/Brigit is just the most perfect sparring partner for me! Sure, she's been in the game for much longer time than me - grown long hair and beard. But (for myself) I must man up, own the talents and gifts I have, and dare some 'baldness'! Feeling a little like 'the black sheep' - black dot above the head of the bald fellow (but white dot hidden in the back), white one above the other (grey one openly in the forehead).
I feel so grateful for this opportunity.