The Lovers + Perfection, Tarot of the Divine + Chakra Wisdom Oracle Cards
'Triggered by some beast' and made a slip from your own core values did you?!
No use in beating yourself up about it!
And/or - it's just not advisable to 'be honest' all the time, nor to expect others to live by (or even understand) your values and your experience of life.
Don't 'quit' just yet. Realign with your core and soul, with 'who you want to be'.
Heal the split (day before yesterday) and regain inner balance and harmony.
Befriend that awaken beast inside you.
Take your time.
Eventually you will 'understand' the meaning of the core deep challenges you're facing, which non or few around you understand <3
For now, there's not much else to do but accepting what's "happening" (what is), and the path "out of it" will reveal itself.
(I very rarely have nightmares, but tonight I had for the first time in a very long time.
The creepiest one I remember most clearly: Me and a friend was captivated by a woman psychopath, far away from sight. I saw how the lady tortured two people to death before us in a totally unaffected way. Treating them as things/toys, asking them to do painful/terrible stuff, that eventually killed them - and if they didn't obey, it was obvious that she would have punished them severely. Now me and my friend was her next "toys", and next in line to carry out her sick orders. Firstly dress in certain clothes. I just tried to 'buy as much time' I could, and prayed to all my gods that someone would find us "in time", "as they do in movies". Nothing truly awful happened to us before I waked up though.)
Deck: Tarot of the Divine
Theme: "appreciation of our differences and of the truth in our similarities"
Card: The Lovers (R)
Deck: Chakra Wisdom Oracle
Theme: "Don't quit before the miracle takes place"
I like how the cards match each other so beautifully color-wise :)