Three of Cups, Law of Attraction Tarot
Theme: The Law of (the Soul's) Attraction
And this card was really a surprise.
Maybe because I'm in a quite a split state, where the Ego really fights to take control All The Time. It steps in and judges the process All The Time. It meddle, analyse and manipulate. It pushes and pulls me constantly.
It's quite the challenge to hear the souls quiet voice.
"LOA isn't and was never meant to be a game. It was NEVER meant to be a new tool for the Ego to use to disempower you!
When used as a toy by the Ego; the lack of manifestation brings about the idea that the Universe is outside of you, that IT determines IF you are worthy or not. It says that that you must have done something wrong or that that level of magic is for other people." (sheilahill)
My Ego really feels I've done A Lot wrong lately. It's rather displeased - with pretty much everything. It analyses and judges every little piece of my life, and every word I write or utter.
The moments I manage to just be and feel the rightness of the IS:ness of the moment are few - or are over as soon as I feel it.
The Ego really, really disdain awkwardness, "missing results", "lack of information", non-response, silence. It really, really hates "hinging mid-air".
"I have no problem waiting if only I know what I'm waiting for, and how long I must wait" it repeats stubbornly.
I think my Ego would like if the universe had one of those "phone line things" going on. "Thank you for waiting, we will take your call as soon as we can, your place in line is 42". You can then put your phone on speakers, and "do things" while listening to the countdown, and start to prepare when your turn comes closer.
My Ego would like to have much more of that function in Life. It loves (desires) to KNOW. "If only I had enough information" then... To the Ego "information is the key". It have pretty much (finally) let go of "Cash is king", but still stuck on "information is king"!
The Ego most certainly has thoughts and opinions on what success and progress consists of and looks like. And any reality not matching those though and conceptions are judged as failure, setback, "lack of magic", or plainly wrong.
It still loose balance when confronted with "goals" - it have a hard time rewriting/refining the goals, and still have too much opinions on how to reach them.
All this makes it really, really hard for me to "feel my way forward".
I really, really don't want to make the Law of Attraction into an Ego-game, or continue to experience "lack of magic" because of it - but it's just so chaotic inside me I don't know left from right.
I can't single out my soul's goals/needs in this mess, and it feels like I always end up "making up" goals based on a mix of dreams, cards, stars and reasoning.
I judge myself harshly for this "making up", and for how I always "make up the wrong goals", "projecting my goals outwards", "mess it up", "always end up in blind alleys", and never find the key to reading my own soul.
The funny thing (from the soul perspective) is that it never can be or go wrong.
I know that.
But the Ego disagree and doesn't accept that fact, either. It's stuck on reaching, directing and "fixing". It gets truly and deeply mad and devastated when it's directing "doesn't work".
I'm rather sick of feeling devastated. I'm rather sick of feeling inadequate because I'm "unable to find and reach adequate goals".
I hope these goal and directing obsessed Frightened Parts of my Personality will give in soon! It's no secret that it's impossible to direct life - and it consumes loads of energy trying to.
Life can't be directed (nor manipulated), Life has to be attracted.
"COME INTO ALIGNMENT WITH WHO YOU REALLY ARE!
When you emit a frequency from your 'truth' that you ARE worthy... worthiness is delivered. When you remember that you are a MIRACLE... miracles are delivered.
Will there be snafus and hiccups along the way? Of course! And in there lies your POWER to decide HOW you are going to react. Are you going to see the expansion in what is being presented or fall into victim consciousness? This is the power of Law of Attraction." (sheilahill)
It's not about doing right or wrong - it's about how I handle each situation. Whether I react or reflect, whether I react impulsively or respond responsibly.
What I experience I attract. What I attract give me opportunities for spiritual growth (not things to "direct/control/manipulate" this way or that).
"Like attracts like" - energy-wise.
"The mind can 'think' a new car but if the heart is unworthy of love, compassion, patience, or abundance (a car) ... LOA will not be 'successful' as perceived by the Ego mind." (sheilahill)
At the moment I feel that I have attracted a person into my life that has a hard time appreciating himself, and receive appreciation from others as well. I feel frustrated when I feel I don't reach to him, when I perceive or feel (or imagining) that he's withdrawing - when the true lesson is that I have severe troubles appreciating and loving myself and my life, and keep myself from withdrawing emotionally.
Of course I've attracted a person/soul I find it hard to reach, that I find it hard to communicate with - as I have a hard time connecting and communicating with and reaching my own soul.
"I searched for and hoped I had found love - but I found pain".
You don't always attract what you wish for, but what you need?
I wished to attract love, and attracted the keys to my own pain, and opportunities for great healing - and my own innate unconditional love?
But one may not exclude the other?
The important thing is to keep the Ego away from the conductor stick, and just let things happen and unfold.
DIFFICULT, but necessary!
Card: Three of Cups - The Solution
"fulfilment, victory; difficulties are overcome in making your dream come true"