Three of Cups, White Cats Tarot
Theme: Integrity; pure intentions (again)
Aah, lovely reminder and guidance!
It's one of those days when I feel like I'm being tossed around (by myself/FP*) between indecision, paralysis, laziness, meaninglessness.
There are many things to do (read: can be done), little fuel (even less passion).
Habitual (most likely frightened) parts of my personality votes for "to do what needs to be done, yesterday!", other parts calmly ponders; "I hear you. But is it really the right time to do them now? I know you think so, but is it so? And, why do you think these things have to be done?"
The habitual FPs* certainly don't like to be challenged this way; they close down, with arms crossed and a very dissatisfied look on their faces. They certainly preferred the ol' days, when I listened to them without questions, dug down my heals, and got the work down - often very quickly, with good results! Why they are extra irritated when I question it - "you're so good at it, why don't you just do it!?"
So, they see things on the above list they deem as necessary and urgent, they know that I am very much capable of doing them fast and well, and just can't get why I every now and then have to bring up this damn "how-come-question".
Sometimes they shut down in response - as now - sometimes they get mad, angry, frustrated and more verbally defensive. They have a wide and heavy artillery, covering the whole fear based reaction spectrum. Historically, they always wore me down, sooner or later - why they how quite the perseverance and certainty of "go winning out of battle" (as life is seen as battle, struggle and competition by them). They are certainly more concerned with be in right than doing right and feel good.
The light of my passion and inner fire is yet quite small. But I'm in the beginning phases of lightening it. I'm busy with my fire steel, creating sparks, and getting the embers in the kindling turn into fire. (To those interested in statistics: about 27.3 % of the CotD so far has been Wands/Fire - would be 18 % if probabilistically distributed)
I'm changing from an old way of being to a new one.
There's only so much energy available, because there's lot of resistance (see above) covering it.
There's a heavy armed great dragon guarding the treasure (hindering me from connecting to the source - the field of pure potentiality - and aligning my personality with my soul)!
But now, through years and years of studies and observation, the width and breadth of my toolbox is beginning to match the artillery of the dragon!
I now can, with ever increasing detachment and patience, meet (instead of fighting) the FPs*. Feel theirs fears, listen to their thoughts, not letting them act out through me, and then choose to respond with and send out energy of higher frequency instead (and attract more and more of the same)!
It's pure science :)
"Changing the channel"!
It takes time of course, when you've been disconnected from your source and been living in, and been addicted to, low frequencies for almost whole your life.
It takes time, patience and compassion. And a lot of time to first create patience and compassion itself - in case those are missing!
Which I admit is a part of my case :)
Being in the beginning of my true recovery (from the addiction to negativity/low frequency) I find it necessary and helping to avoid events where negativity (fear based reactions) is likely to be allowed a prominent role, and people (consciously or unconsciously) inclined to wallow in or focus on negativity and low frequencies.
Just like many recovering alcoholics avoid events and people presenting them to alcohol before they feel safe and secure in their new sober approach to life!
Back to the theme then. Intention.
What's on my list is not the important thing here, but the intention behind the things I've put on it!
Is it love or fear that urges me to do them? High or low frequency?
Intentions of low frequency will create more of the same, as intentions of high frequencies will attract more of that!
"Your intentions are your nonphysical causes that set energy into motion. They create a multitude of effects and, therefore, determine the experiences of your life. This is one of the most important things that you can know. It is also something that you can see for yourself is true. Experimenting with your life frees you to create differently, but you need to choose new causes (intentions) consciously. If you don't choose different intentions consciously, unconscious parts of your personality (the frightened parts) will choose them for you, along with the consequences they will create for you.
To change the experiences of your life (for example, from angry to appreciative, or from fearful to joyful) requires becoming aware of the intentions you are choosing moment to moment, and the experiences you encounter, and then making the connections between your intentions and your experiences. The more aware of your intentions and your experiences you become, the more you will be able to connect the two, and the more you will be able to create the experiences of your life consciously. This is the development of mastery. It is the creation of authentic power."
(This is (literally) nonsense to five-sensory (empirical) science, because your five senses cannot detect intentions)
Therefore, before doing anything on my list, it's more important for me to figure out my intention for doing it! Especially since I've committed to making my spiritual path my highest priority!
That is why the intention behind the things on the list is far more important than executing the things on the list - "getting things done"!
The "thing" that are to be done: grow spiritually!
With that in mind I can approach the list. Will the thing generate spiritual growth? How can I execute the thing with integrity? Is the thing on the list there out of love or out of fear ("if I don't do it XXX will think", "If I don't do it XXX will happen", "XXX requires me to do it", "I have no choice").
CARD: Three of Cups
"delight in success"
Integrity; pure intention (Deck Theme) is the road to success (harmony, high frequency, love)! :)
Maybe something on the list actually gets done, maybe not!
Maybe everything gets done, maybe I'll throw the list away!
Maybe I'll throw my clothes off and run out into the fog for a dance!
Highly unlikely - but still a possible choice, and with rationality out of the picture it could actually release more healing (higher frequency) to the world than doing anything on my list would!
Deck #129: White Cats Tarot